Submitted by: Jo Lin

From a certain stage, I put everyone as a part of the solution or part of the problem. If they are sincere and I can trust them, then they are part of the solution. If not, they are part of the problem. Some people will be adjusted from one category to the other category after I know them well, and this situation is not uncommon.

This classification is indeed simple and crude, or even degrading. However, as a person who grew up in the streets of Brooklyn, an area at that time if not as violent, can be considered relatively chaotic, I treat this method as a survival principle.

Although this method is very simple and crude, but in my early career, this method for me is very useful. Some of my views began to change at that stage. I began to consider the issue through the eyes of others, and before that I only think about the problem from my own angle. If you go out into the world, you will encounter this situation, especially if your job requires a lot of travel, negotiations, problem-solving and decision-making. At least for me, it is the case.

leaders are not born leaders. Maybe the genetic will play a little role, but most of the leadership qualities are learned in their later lives. Even in childhood we develop some leadership skills and tools. For example, when I was very young I got to know the importance of ethics, and this awareness accompanied me until today.

On the other hand, some of the qualities learned are best to keep in childhood, because they are only part of that period. For example, children are born good at manipulating people so as to make themselves noticed, but when we grow up, we hope to inspire people to learn more appropriate ways to achieve our goals. However, some people never learn this.

The example itself explains why so many leaders have become narcissistic guy with antisocial tendencies. They never grow up, not to get rid of the habit that in the childhood pursuit for obtaining the attention of the “adult”. Their make efforts to show what people want them to look like. As a result, they obtain attention to satisfy themselves and let them feel to have the power over others.

keeping this in mind, it is easy to understand how naive our classification system is. I use this method not to attract someone’s attention, but to help me decide whether I can trust a person. Nevertheless, this tool is best to be left in the past, because it only traces of childhood when the whole world turned around me, or I think the whole world turned around me.

Ironically, I began to realize that these bad leader is usually able to attract followers of their kind – equally naive and weak guy. They are always pointing, looking for all kinds of excuses, and they will say what they think the others want to hear. They imitate these childish leaders.

Mature leader, on the other hand, will attract strong and positive people who have a solid self-perception, because they treat others this way. They won’t determine whether a person is worthy of trust like I used to do in a simple way.

Now, I realize that a lot of people think that problems can be solved by EQ test. Unfortunately, narcisms and antisocial guy is a chameleon. They are good at playing a role. No simple tests or interviews can distinguish who is a mature adult leader or who is desperately trying to play the role of the child. However, if you find one “chameleon”, you will quickly find another.

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